Eventyr

Inside the Pants

Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

I have to admit I've become quite taken with "Underwear Goes Inside the Pants" by Lazy Boy since the edited version started being played on the radio.

(I'm firmly ignoring the fact it is related to the horror that was Aqua.)

Stuck

So last Friday I crashed my car for the first time.

My first actual* crash.

It shook me up.

I have decided that 9 in the morning, across two lanes at Preston Circus, is a bad time to permanently affix yourself to the tow bar of a Landrover.

Very bad.

The police could not separate us. The AA man could not jack us apart. It took a while but in the end the tow bar was dismantled from underneath and our cars were once more free.

It resulted in a fleeing in shame and shock to Devon for the weekend.

Thank goodness for Devon: paddling at Beer (where I drank cider) and an immense Sunday Roast did wonders for my mood.

I'm still a bit fretsome, but it had to happen sooner or later I suspect.

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* I am discounting the drunken incident when I steered someone else's car into a petrol pump and a VW van. I was only 17 and couldn't drive then.

Partners in Research

It starts with MEN...

I was introduced to American Women: Partners in Research today. It was a short film made in the 1960's to describe the market research undertaken by Corning Glass Works prior to marketing a coffeemaker. It aims to suggest design through using real women to do research ("market" research) might be a good thing...

It is hilarious. And makes me relieved I'm doing my research now.

My how things date.

End of the Line

The pub at which the Tuesday social* I attend is held, as with most pubs, has a standard song list.

Amongst the songs played each week is one that distracts me and reduces me to silent contemplation. It carries the weight of memories that I cannot shift.

And yet, hearing it is comforting. And fills me with hope.

Well it's all right, even if they say you're wrong
Well it's all right, sometimes you gotta be strong
Well it's all right, as long as you got somewhere to lay
Well it's all right, everyday is judgement day
...
Well it's all right, even when push comes to shove
Well it's all right, if you got someone to love
Well it's all right, everything'll work out fine
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line
...
Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, even if the sun dont shine
Well it's all right, were going to the end of the line

-- End of the Line (Traveling Wilbury's)

It's ok.

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* This is an extended career-based social network, part of the new style social career space being developed outside of work hours, or so I learned at a recent seminar.

Partners in Research

It starts with MEN...

I was introduced to American Women: Partners in Research today. It was a short film made in the 1960's to describe the market research undertaken by Corning Glass Works prior to marketing a coffeemaker. It aims to suggest design through using real women to do research ("market" research) might be a good thing...

It is hilarious. And makes me relieved I'm doing my research now.

My how things date.

Once Were Fish

My father has removed the object of my childhood bad dreams.

The outside toilet.

It is now a small modern toilet. Not a giant metal monstrosity, with strong memories.

Once there were fish heads which would stare up at me from it.

Fish heads that refused to flush despite my mother's attempts.

Time and again I would not know what would be staring up at me when I went to use it.

I will miss the memories.

Fish No More.

In celebration:

Fish heads, Fish heads
Roly poly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yum

In the morning
Laughing, happy Fish Heads
In the evening
Floating in the soup

Fish heads, Fish heads
Roly poly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yum

Ask a Fish head
Anything you want to
They won't answer
They can't talk

Fish heads, Fish heads
Roly poly Fish heads
Fish heads, Fish heads
Eat them up, Yummm

Voices in my Car

My car radio has started talking to me.

I'm not worried.

My CD screeches to static while I drive. A voice is audible over the scratching play-fast-forward sound.

It says different things each time.

Help me.
They are setting me up.
No.

Interestingly it seems that when my car stereo complains about a CD it switches to radio until the problem is resolved. Just for a fraction of a second...

I just wish I knew the station it was broadcasting.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

UPDATE: Changing to a CD which is not scratched appears to have resolved the problem. No more voices. Good. Phew. etc.

Unknown Trees

So I have sponsored a tree.

Doin' my bit for charity inni?

Paying towards water and trees makes sense to me.

Just wish I knew which tree was mine.

Not that I want to hug it or anything mind.

Caribbean Hats

The recent pirate expedition was suitably tricorned up, but I felt a bit overwhelmed by tentacles...

So many tentacles.

And none of them eating the remains of the West Pier.

Patches

I helped steward at Patchfest yesterday in order to stem the flood of Glasto nostalgia I get on off years.

Resurrecting my volunteer management and tin shaking skills (donate your money here) I braved my way through the day, directing lost children, suffering from the heat and free B&J ice-cream. Even the music line-up was good including the ever-present Fish Brothers but I sadly missed the wonderfully named Vogue Gyratory.

Come summer come. (Maybe turn down the heating a bit though guys.)