Eventyr

Bakhtin

To be means to communicate.  Absolute death (nonbeing) is the state of being unheard, unrecognized, unremembered.

   -- M.M. Bakhtin

Jean Houston

If you keep telling the same sad small story, you will keep living the same sad small life.

   -- Jean Houston

Sponsoring my Narrative

Today I find myself contemplating considering sponsoring the word narrative in the Online Etymology Dictionary...

(For the Record: It is not compensation for my missing telling my story (see below) at the storytelling class this evening. No.)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

#51 - The Black Prince - a story from Egypt

In ancient Egypt, there was a boy who was thought ugly, stupid and lazy. The only thing he cared about was playing his homemade flute. He would play it all day. Even his mother thought that he was worthless.

One day the boy found a beautiful walled garden with a girl sitting by a pool of water. He fell in love with the girl and came every day to sit on the wall and play his feelings for her on his flute. She never looked at him or acknowledged him, but simply sat there day after day by the pool. He dreamed of entering the garden one day and professing his love.

One day he heard some villagers talking about the Princess Thudmos, and they described the garden where she spent her days. The boy realized that he had fallen in love with a princess. He knew a princess would never love a poor boy who was ugly, stupid and lazy. Heartbroken, he wandered all night; at dawn he heard some merchants talking about a powerful magician named Habee.The boy asked them about Habee and was told he could perform any miracle. They told the boy he lived a three-day walk into the desert.

With nothing but his flute, the boy immediately began to walk out into the desert. He walked three days without stopping until he came to an oasis. There he met Habee, the magician, and told him his story. He asked Habee to change him into someone a princess would love...a strong, mighty warrior. Habee told him that he could do that, but warned the boy that once he changed a man's soul, it could not be changed back again.

Habee asked the boy how he would pay for this service. The boy had only his flute and Habee took it. After a few days, the boy's mother assumed he was dead, thought he had fallen into the river or some other foolish thing. She held a funeral.

Three years passed, during which the Pharaoh's enemies attacked him and he lost most of his land and half of his wealth. He was about to surrender, when a handsome, strong man dressed in black came into the Pharaoh's camp. He told the Pharaoh that he was the Black Prince and if the Pharaoh would let him lead the army, he would win back the Pharaoh's lands. In return he asked only to be given his heart's desire. The Pharaoh agreed. Within weeks, the Black Prince accomplished the goal and the Pharaoh was restored to power and wealth.

The Pharaoh was pleased and asked the Black Prince to visit him in his palace in one month. At the appointed time, the Black Prince arrived with much fanfare. Women scattered flowers at his feet and everyone gathered to catch a glimpse of the powerful warrior. When he arrived at the palace, he saw Princess Thudmos seated next to her father. The Pharaoh offered the Black Prince much wealth and power, but the Prince said he only wanted his heart's desire. When the Pharaoh asks what that was, the Prince stated that he would like to marry the Princess.

The Princess stood up, saying that if the Pharaoh commanded it, she would obey, but she warned the Prince that she would never love him, as she had already given her heart to another. She then told of a young boy who sat on her garden wall day after day, playing his flute. His music seemed to touch all the emotions of her heart. She dreamed of the day when he would come into the garden and love her as much as she loved him. But one day, he no longer came. When her servants went into the city to inquire after the flute player, they were told that he had drowned in the river.

The Princess told the Prince and her father that she would never love as deeply again and she had sworn never to marry. The Black Prince told the Princess that he, too, has once loved that deeply and that he would never ask her to marry against her will. He turned and left the palace, never to be seen or heard from again.

To Addiction

Even now when we
can no longer remember
how much of the scent
of the world we gave up
life after life in the hope
of being able to hold
something in our hands
we recognize you at once
every time without fail
day or night wherever
you may be coming from
across the hill or
under the door
and we imagine you
even when you are not there
we can never be sure
you reach all the way to us
out of somewhere we have forgotten
we wake into dreams of you
as the bees do
hoping it is not true
the world is burning
you have always been warning
us too late and only
as you were leaving
ghost of what we have known
something reminds us of you
in the fragrance of morning
in the opening flowers
in a breath at the moment
it seems to be ours

To Smoke
--W. S. Merwin

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I posted that poem once before. Once, when I was quitting smoking and it was still in my thoughts and in my dreams and in my heart. It was a part of me, a friend I did not know how to be without after a decade of shared time.

Quitting things is hard, because quitting means that there is something you are having to go without, something you want, something you need.

Of course it could not last. I eventually went the way of Zyban, a scary and hard road. Zyban was one of the harder things I have been through in my life.

Harder becuase it left me confused, ill, scared and crazy. For months.

But it did help me to stop smoking.

And realise that I wasn't losing anything.

And now months later I barely think it, of my desire to hold something in my hands. Unpleasant things happen and it is not what I rush to do to make me feel better... In fact it is the last thing I think of.

I still recognise the scent of it, everywhere. But I don't desire it.

And sadly I know now that I never summoned buses with it.

Right Now

Don’t wanna wait til tomorrow,
Why put it off another day?
One more walk through problems,
Built up, and stand in our way ,ah
One step ahead, one step behind me
Now you gotta run to get even
Make future plans, don’t dream about yesterday, hey
C’mon turn, turn this thing around
Right now,
It’s your tomorrow
Right now,
C’mon,it’s everything
Right now,
Catch a magic moment, do it
Right here and now
It means everything
VAN HALEN — ( Right Now Lyrics )

Quitting

Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance.

Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that's keeping you from the finals?

Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame.

Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't anything to regret for the rest of their life. Well good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever.

Rewatched Dodgeball. Still greatly silly. Think I prefer the 40 Year Old Vigin though (with its completely different cast and plot).

(I mention this through some simple mental linkage from Dodgeball via Ben Stiller to Zoolander, then via Will Ferrell to Anchorman and finally via Steve Carell to 40 Year Old Vigin).

Shakes

But the war’s still going on dear
And there’s no end that I know
And I can’t say if we’re ever...
I can’t say if we’re ever gonna to be free
Don’t let these shakes go on
It’s time we had a break from it
It’s time we had some leave
We’ve been living in the flames
We’ve been eating out our brains
Oh, please don’t let theses shakes go on
BLUE OYSTER CULT — ( Veteran of The Psychic Wars Lyrics )

Free Booze and Free Booze-alike

Yay, free alcohol!
Yay, free energy drinks!

Hmm, what he said, except...

I would strongly like to express my concerns about something...

We left the free bar of the Brighton and Hove Virtual Festival to go to the Taste of Chaos gig. On departing we were (along with everyone else) given free energy drinks with an excessively 'beer-like' packaging.

It just feels wrong...

It was being given to 14 year olds. It is deliberately packaged to look like beer. And make me into a rock star.

Of course, I like free things and I like caffeine so I did not say no.

Revised Research Proposal

I have now written and submitted for review my current revised research interests / proposal: 'Narrative Communication in Agile Programming' (password protected).

This work has emphasised the need I have been feeling that I need to do even more background work so I can clarify some ideas... 

Back to the reading then.

Lights-On

Yesterday, in a fine tribute to the systems at Sussex, I was informed by phone and email that I had left the lights on on my car, within 30 minutes of parking.

It was impressive.

(although admittedly leaving them on in the first place was not quite so good...)